Mindfully Blooming

Heavy dark days I've walked; the fog is thick, the clouds know I'm lost, I'm not me. Spiraling and traveling down, the dark valley welcomes me with a hug and a  Fading smile. Like a comforting mother, darkness reminds me sometimes it's necessary To reconnect to the ghosts we thought had crossed over to the light, That being in and with darkness reminds us of the duality of life: Darkness and light cannot be apart and In the fertile void of the darkness, the unknown, the fear, the tears, the chaos unfolding Beneath the surface, there's still life, there's still hope.  Darkness cradles my face, I'm not afraid. I'm just tired and darkness knows. It lets me cocoon in the safety of the unseen and unknown, knowing with certainty I'll eventually hug myself, lovingly and with faith stand up to gratefully walk out of the  dark valley. Truth and love hold my hands, side by side, they encourage my every hopeful step; In truth, in love, in faith, fireflies start...

Meeting -lower case c and Capital C- challenges along the way,  I met myself: my full, deep, shadowy, dark, Sparkly, proactive and anxious self.  All of the facets, all of the pride and shame,  All of the debilitating anxiety,  All of the faith in myself.  Overwhelmed and then reassured,  I was always guided along the way,  Even though at times I felt alone, I was always supported, held, loved. 

May the inhale be an invitation to receive, To open up to the sacredness of life, To welcome expansion,  To welcome nourishment,  To welcome love. And may the exhale be a reminder of how sweet it can be To release and give yourself permission to unclench, To sigh out, to let go, to release anything That no longer serves you,  And everything you're ready to drop. you're a human being, breathe.  You're a human being, be. 

 My throat bleeds the words she doesn't speak. The inflicted silences guarding my mouth, The constriction around my neck Like a snake silencing me tight; The shackles, the fire, the smoke Tearing me, burning me down; A hand choking me, water filling my lungs, Smoke seeping in through my nostrils  And I just want to unapologetically, wildly Scream and shout. I want to speak my pure, raw truth, I want to heal and guide and align,  Connect with sisters, and devotionally chant;  Honour the Great Mother, and be held in her light,  Humbly serve the aligned path without fear  Of the silencing of the words of my heart;  Know in safety, devotion, connection my path lies and with love and light abound, Nurture a community of aligned souls of the light,  And a witch and goddess be.  

Lingering on the edge a bit too long  I fell down a deep rabbit hole;  Unbeknownst to me  I'd been there before only I didn't  Remember the winding corners of the  Dark maze that my mind wouldn't let go of. Holding tightly, it felt like a safety blanket,  The devilish whispers that drew me closer  To self inflicted soul pain each time.  Until one enlightened day I suddenly realized  That it was I who had the ultimate power to  Drop the rope and let go or, rather, Hold on tightly to pull myself up and out of The entanglements that kept my mind numb.  Greeted by the blinding light as I got out I realised, once again, that the warmth that welcomed me back Was non-judgemental and kind,  Boundless and unconditional love.  I decided that, every time I shut down,  I'd breathe, I'd lean in and allow the darkness  Through and out of me. Yes, the shadows were  Part of who I was but so was the light.

And like that, we will hold you, And like that, we will guide you. Rest, my child, you're safe, Close your eyes, and know you're enough. Tender love, that's what you are.  Nothing to do, just be. Know you're guided and that life unfolds FOR you, Know you're loved and forever held.