Mindfully Blooming

Getting lost Going high The juxtaposition of  Day and Night. Wandering the Earth Not finding my way Trapped in my thoughts  Locked within my soul. Black and white, Grey skies, Clouds above, Exquisite skylines. Worth looking up, Worth dancing with the stars, Worth staying around To witness, to enjoy The tingling of your eyes,  The smiles of your heart,  You warmth, your hugs,  And the plans we have for us.  

  ‘Jump, leap!’ Said my intuition. ‘Wait!’ Cried my fear.  ‘I’m not quite sure, something might go wrong.’  'You’ve got nothing to lose but the unnecessary darkness  That is dragging you down! Come on, please trust!’ My intuition invitingly whispered. ‘I could. I might.’ Fear offered. ‘What are you waiting for my love?’ Intuition knew a cosmic nudge was needed. Fear sighed . ‘It might not work.’  ‘What if it does?’  Fear's eyes lit up , ‘Then I’d be free.’ 'And wouldn't that be a divine, exquisite feeling?' Intuition said. 'Yes, it would. I'd be untethered, unbound; Liberty would walk next to me and hold my hand.' 'Then you have nothing to lose And everything to win.' Fear hugged Intuition,  Their friendship was one to be nurtured  For in their timeless juxtaposition There was truth And, above all, love.

Claustrophobic heart within a tight chest, Hard to breathe, hard to be. Trapped within this human body It is alluring to jump  Time and time again; Tempting to vanish in the universal ether, To go back to light source, To a dimension of love and light.  Homesick for a place  I know not and yet Recognise as my home.

Frozen in place,  Standing on the edge,  Time and time again Coming back to the verge. Dare I jump?  Feel powerlessly trapped. Tempting to leap  Into the abysmal dark.  The engulfing pain  Stares back, mirroring  My doubts, longing and question marks.  Break free, run,  Don't let it take hold of your mind.

  What if?  What if it’s yes? What if it’s no? The entangled loops of my never ending train of thoughts. Time.  Time spent thinking,  Brooding, back and forth,  The endless scenarios Of my tired, ancient, evolving soul.  What if I could transform And morph, leave the fears behind and just leap into the void?  Liberating at best,  Nothing I could not enjoy;  I’d learn, I’d grow,  I’d venture out of my comfort zone. 

  And in the morning you'll remember What you forgot at night The shadows of the past will be gone  And you'll see nothing but the light.  ~ And if the shadows take a step aside And let me breathe alive,  Then I’ll gratefully smile  And hug myself tight.  Nothing really has the power  To vanquish them from my life,  Only myself and my courageous heart.  Tiring at times, I think of the point  Of being alive  But nothing will ever prevent me  From rejoicing in the warming sun, In the ethereal stars.  Few understand the paradox of light and dark,  And the journey of a thousand scars Which I sometimes don't share not to disconcert  People around.  I do have dreams though, I do want to breathe alive,  I want to thrive, and grow and create;  To make a difference,  To love, t o help.  So when the shadows say hi again,  I will politely greet them but send them  On their way. ...

  Wanting to stop, Craving to slow down,  Longing for the sweet serenity of mind; The demons are getting louder this winter time.  A scary cycle sometimes, how the mind Can lead you to believe you are running out of time. Does time exist though love?  Or is it an illusion to masterfully mask? Mask the past, present and future times;  How can one know where one stands? Why am I creating these scenarios in my exhausted mind? Blending of all times, I rather live in the now.  After all, that’s all we have:  Memories belong to the past And anxiety comes from the upcoming now,  In the year 2029. But I can cultivate this breath now,  Nurture myself right now,  Inhale in, exhale out.  What am I running towards? 

  Run, jump, walk,  Do anything but retrieve into  The cave of your anxious thoughts;  Ingrained in your DNA now perhaps But you need to let go,  You need to run away from the claws  Of what brings you down.  Smile at what makes you dance, Embrace the messiness but  Let go of it in time,  Learn, always from life But do not cling to the fears Of that which goes beyond your eyes.

  A nd at the end of the day Remember that the beauty of the sky  Lies not only in the brightness and warmth of the sun,  And in the clear canvas of the cerulean above But also in the passing and rolling of the clouds,  The tears of the stars, And the menacingly ominous clouds.  It is in the darkness  That we appreciate the light,  In the getting lost,  That we appreciate being found,  In the tears,  That we appreciate the smiles.  Embrace the juxtaposition  Of your experiences,  Embrace every shade Of the prism of your life.  Live. Breathe.  Rejoice in the knowledge that  You are loved. 

Standing on the edge. Wanting to jump. Looking at my life. Leaving everything behind. I felt that way  For a long, hard time, Unbearable minutes Filled with suffocating dark. Things change, If willing, you see the light; You want to retrieve that step, Stay away from the once alluring dark.  The darkness might linger at times, Important to be firm, to not let it pass; Yes, it'll be overcast sometimes But the moon will always shine its magic, its purifying light.  You will cry.  Y ou will breathe.  You will be human, you will be alive. 

The leaves were turning ochre, cherry and amber and she knew. She knew the season of engulfing darkness was lingering all around and she feared it. She feared the darkness, the extreme silence and the fading light; she feared the ticking clock of light and the solitude of her days, the distance between him and her, the neverending steps to maybe one day take.  And yet, she embraced it all for she knew that every day had its night and that every light had its dark; she knew that silence allowed her to be with her deep, raw thoughts and that, despite the lingering demons, she could grow and learn and move forward. Every day allowed her to learn something new and the unknown seduced her. Her curiosity was deeper and more powerful than her fear, her tears came from a longing rooted in her soul and she could not let go; she had to carry on and discover what she was being called to do.  Crawling, walking, running. It didn’t matter how she did it but she knew that something had to ch...