Mindfully Blooming

  A concealed yes through actions and touch But I’m still confused, precious time going by.  Patient I’ve been -I know you love me back- But I can’t shake the idea that you might break my heart.  Your walls are up and mine went higher up When you said nothing, when your silence made  A puncture in my weeping heart.  Still, I want to trust in the journey, the universe and our path. I’ll try to let go, I’ll breathe and allow,  I know whatever is meant to happen Will run its course regardless of the dark downs.

Someday you'll realise  That the confusing shade of grey  Was actually pure white And that the truth you didn't want to acknowledge  Was in front of you all along shining bright.  Cry it out, get it out Let your broken heart weep out, Shrivel down but then stand up. You were not blind, you just believed in love.  You wanted to live life as us   But he fearfully froze numb; He retrieved into his aloof mind  And left you hanging in the painful dark.

  And I choose To wake up and smile To meditate and breathe It is not easy some days But worth it always is;  The birds that welcome the day Encourage me to get out of bed, The mat on the floor Invites me to stretch and move.  Keep going, one day at a time,  Move your body, smile a nd allow The magic of the universe  To unfold in front of your path. 

  A bubble ready to burst t hough not without Dancing in the air f or few more breaths.  The beauty that I've lived and the  Sights that I've blissfully seen;  How lucky I am to have lived this life.  Call it what you want but all the shades In the sky were a glorious classroom  That I am soon leaving behind.  The lesson that we eternally overcomplicate  Is undeniably simpler than we thought:  All that matters is kindness and love;  The soft smile, the hand extended,  The open door, the bursting heart.  All those preciously unique minutes,  Make them count,  Embody kindness, embody love. 

  “ Rituals make the invisible connections that make life meaningful, visible. ”   Casper ter Kuile ~ Undeniably grounding,  Soothing my heart and soul,  I breathe deeply when embracing the practices That bring serenity to my days' ticking tocks.  Knowing not how to navigate certain lows  But reassuringly I stand in my truth If I hold close to my being  What brings me peace and joy.  The rituals that have allowed me to breathe,  The practices that have helped me be;  The simplicity, the pause, the  Sacred connection to my soul. 

  To be understood. To soar, to rise.  To be loved.  To be cherished. To be celebrated And truly seen in all our light.  The essence of life, To fulfil our purpose,  To graciously walk our path,  To lift others and deeply love.  To be fully us.

Poem that flowed through me and was inspired by the speakers in the  Almost 30 Winter Camp  Event in January 2022 . Nothing left consciously behind All the lessons kept in my open heart; Struggling at points to see ahead  But the certainty gets stronger with each passing day.  Once I heard the universe rewards the brave and  I smiled for a deep, long breath; looking ahead  I see light, looking ahead it all gets clear and alive. Misunderstood I might be but nothing matters Except having and embracing my one true self. Tingles all over my body; dancing around the wild, bright fire I felt alive, I felt like coming home to my own heart, my soul tribe. Letting go to transform, letting go to evolve,  Relinquishing control, letting my higher self guide me through it all.  Remembering the sacredness of my soul, embracing the freedom  That I so long to hold; fear still has a hold but I am determined to let it go.  I’ve been on a journey, caterpi...

 Poem that flowed through me and was inspired by the speakers in the Almost 30 Winter Camp Event in January 2022 . The soul can grow when it dwells in darkness, There's wisdom in grief and pain,  I've grown and evolved and let go As I've let the words carry these shades of grey. Needed to evolve, the lessons to be learnt; Though an aching heart I do not crave, Sometimes it is needed to see the brighter shades In the multicoloured days of the human gaze.  To cherish, to be grateful, to soar,  Allow yourself to explore the shadows of your soul, Always remembering that the light within you Casts a blindingly bright shine that overpowers  The demons of the dark, frightening night.  With a hand over your heart, remind yourself Of your uniqueness and your Manifested existence, the sanctuary where you shine,  The sacredness of your stunning, bright heart.

  Inspired by I Dwell in Possibility by Emily Dickinson I dwell in the possibility,  The possibility of a tomorrow  Where my lungs are filled with air and my heart  Overjoyed with certainty. Nothing can overshadow how the clouds bring relief To a blindingly bright day,  How the full drops of rain are elixir To the scorched earth below tired feet.  I dwell in the possibility that tomorrow you'll say yes,  That your silence won't hurt me because It'll be followed by the words y ou long to speak But a re afraid to let out of your expression's gate.

  Stagnant at painful times,  Crawling out of my mind; Frozen by stubborn fear,  Feeling I know not where to steer. One patient step at a time But when you want to change your life, Though beautifully empowering, It can paralyse you as much as you try. The idea of breaking free feels exhilarating  Yet all around my anxious mind The uncertainty selfishly crawls up and down.  Sprint! Run! Go! Stop. How debilitating being frightened  And frozen is, hope in every raindrop though I clearly see.   Envisioning the life I want to live, Craving to leave this dark prison behind,  My heart knows I can but how to keep convincing my fearful mind?

'We must be with what we desire to heal or transform.' Girl and The Moon Graciously alight, beauty in its timeless arcs, Brightening the dark canvas with its irradiant shine. Unapologetically ebbing and flowing,  Showing us it’s okay to trust the intimate, inner knowing;  Nothing imperfect in its many shades and tones,  Always releasing, always letting go.  Many a time, I stand mesmerised by its glow, I deeply feel I belong in its orb,  The pull is strong, the feeling rooted in my bones.  Maybe we’ve all been beings of the moon, dazzled by her brightness,  Oozing the serenity of the ethereal lightness. Maybe she’s been guiding us across eternal lives, Renewal and rebirth in each archetype.  Maybe it's a matter of skies until we go back, Connecting, honouring, breathing alive.        

And sometimes  My mind quietens,  It stops.  I pause. There's stillness,  It's glorious.  Just for a brief moment,  There's silence and peace,  Nothing but the inhale And exhale, the letting go And the love within.   

  The shade of crimson was sharp on her cheeks She’d been weeping for hours, for days, for weeks;  Not a soul could really understand  The pain she was carrying in her sad, brown eyes.  She got better at points, the sun brightly shone,  She went for long walks, she recharged her melancholic soul;  She wanted to believe the darkness would just go, that it  Would one day vanish and allow her to freely roam.  She wondered at times if this pain was rooted in her bones Like some kind of passed-down generational trauma That she had to still thoroughly work on.  Regardless of the reasons, She navigated the sometimes long, painful seasons And decided to try to always think of the smiles.  There were of course ups and downs,  The path was never perfectly laid out. Who’d want that anyway?  Life’s too precious to only live it through shades of grey.

  We go from point A to B, from up we spiral down, What’s the point of living? What’s the point of life? The juxtaposition of light and dark is maddening at times And my c onfused brain wants to hear nothing, Only craves to shut down.  Fighting the anxiety that haunts my mind I struggle to breathe, I struggle to see the light.  But then a ray of sun peeps through the window,  It dances through and floods my life.  Instantaneously I smile  Because I know there’s more outside; Outside where there’s air and where I do not feel trapped.  All of a sudden I realise that the darkness is not that bad Because it reminds me to cherish the beauty all around,  To shine my own bright light Just like the moon against the black backdrop Unapologetically dazzles us bright.

  The voice, the nudge, the niggle.  The monologue of our desires Manifesting itself in the whispering of our soul.  Terrifying at times To leap, to jump, to trust.  I know, I've feared it many a dark time.  Still, here I am and I keep thinking  About taking that daring jump.  What am I afraid of? What would I leave behind? Not everything is what it seems, I might realise I was withering, wilting, vanishing But I could actually   Be truly alive i f I tried,  If I danced with life,  If I chose my soul's path.   

    'It almost feels like the more I bruise the page the quicker something inside me heals.'  Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo ~ Writing to heal.  Writing to shout.  Writing to pause.  Writing the never-ending lines of my internal monologue.  How freeing it is to let the pen glide or the finger hit the keys,  The brain to let the hand move and Unload the heavy burden of my thoughts with ease.   Would not know how to cope if I didn't have words.  Words heal, words allow us to grow, words are the anchor  That allow us to process what has been, is and might be;  The pages become the canvas where we pour our intricate thoughts  And, sometimes, writing things down will heal us, will help us soar. 

It all started with the breath; the intake of air that filled our lungs and gave us life; the magical inhale and exhale that allowed us to embrace our existence on this earth. 'Just' air. We left the safety of water and cried because we were ripped from our ever-flowing home but, soon enough, we learnt that there was another element that gave us life and allowed us to be: air, the ethereal vehicle for our waking and being.  We’ve been breathing since the moment we were born and that is the only thing that distinguishes the dead from the living; breathing, being, the beautiful existence on this earth plane. Oftentimes, we take our breath for granted and forget its life-giving force; we forget that if we don’t fully breathe, then we are not truly living. Us, human beings, sometimes forget to wholly, deeply, lovingly breathe and, as a result, we feel constricted by life. The lack of air makes us feel trapped, claustrophobic and, at points, lost. Well, at least that’s how I have f...