Mindfully Blooming

As dark as the night's grasp  Her thoughts turned black; She'd been here before and  The familiar scent seemed to comfort her mind. Spiralling out of tight control,  The dark thoughts engulfed her light;  She desperately gasped for air But the shadows held her down. Oblivious to the light all around her,  She felt like giving up. She didn't care how far she'd come, It felt easier to retreat into the dark; Nothing seemed to matter,  It all felt heavy and tight.  Something kept calling her to stay though, Maybe the sweet scent of hope  and the magic gifter to her each day. The disheartening scenario  If she decided to leave  Made her want to fight harder  To avoid hurting the people she loved, Deep down she knew she  Couldn't leave, not just yet. Reminded to stop overthinking,  She kept walking towards her true north, Not knowing exactly where her leap would take her But trusting she could create meaningful ripple effects Fo...

  My troubled mind kept banging on  About the things that were missing  The things that were wrong  I couldn't shake the knowing  I was meant for more but  Impatience kept a hold of me and  I kept losing control; my demons Were running wild and I  Fantasised about letting it all go It'd be easier if I was here no more Maybe I belonged somewhere else And that's why life kept feeling heavy  And I kept experiencing an aching pain To vanish, to go, to disappear and be  Physically no more.  But love kept me alive,  And the desire to connect and  To be of service to souls aligned;  Light kept shining my path as  The universe kept reassuring me I had  Lives to change, and lessons to share. 

Dear shadows,  I see you. You're not my enemy; you've been an ally all along, only I hadn't realised and kept blaming you for many things. I hurt and you were a refuge to my dark humanity. Thank you. You taught me to embrace all shades of me and be with what I kept running away from. You taught me to be with the darkness and the discomfort. I had never thought I'd actually thank you but you've made me more whole, more intricate, deeper, more layered and I learnt those layers made me wholesome and sacred. I embraced the dark and cherished the light- I unapologetically danced with both and became me.  It took me some time to understand and accept that my darkness wasn't something to hide, to feel shame about, to hide or to run away from. I learnt that I was whole, darkness and all. I learnt that sometimes I'd navigate these waves of anxiety and overwhelmed and overall 'wanting to disappear' and yet I was still worthy of giving myself time to rest and p...

  Just wait, just be. Nothing will come to you  If you force and don't breathe.  I know it's hard, impatience reigns But your frustration will only make it worse, You won't see the beauty that is .  Growing gold can take time But you truly are meant to shine bright. So wait human one, just wait and be.