Dear Shadows

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Dear shadows, 

I see you. You're not my enemy; you've been an ally all along, only I hadn't realised and kept blaming you for many things. I hurt and you were a refuge to my dark humanity. Thank you. You taught me to embrace all shades of me and be with what I kept running away from. You taught me to be with the darkness and the discomfort. I had never thought I'd actually thank you but you've made me more whole, more intricate, deeper, more layered and I learnt those layers made me wholesome and sacred. I embraced the dark and cherished the light- I unapologetically danced with both and became me. 

It took me some time to understand and accept that my darkness wasn't something to hide, to feel shame about, to hide or to run away from. I learnt that I was whole, darkness and all. I learnt that sometimes I'd navigate these waves of anxiety and overwhelmed and overall 'wanting to disappear' and yet I was still worthy of giving myself time to rest and process these big emotions and feel them! 

I learnt that I could be a coach and a yoga teacher and still struggle with my darkness; I understood that I was enough regardless of how many times I cried and felt like giving up; I accepted that what I once saw as a weakness, an inconvenience and a shameful stain, were actually luminous, sacred experiences that would teach me to embrace all the parts of my humanity and celebrate my whole self as an expression of my human duality and the universe's invitation to expand through a myriad experiences. 

So, dear shadows, thank you for making me more fully human and more alive. How far I've come since you showed up back then; I used to be terrified of you but now I see you as being a sacred part of me and I respect you. You're my ally. I won't shut you out, I won't run away from you; I'll invite you in, we'll sit down, I'll hold space for you and you'll tecah me your wisdom. 

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