Poem: Not a Linear Path

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October was waving goodbye when anxiety stubbornly decided to pop by.

Out of nowhere, it pranced and sat on my chest, 

Unapologetically digging its claws and refusing to walk away. 

I could not catch my breath, a nightmare while awake. 

Negotiation was null and void- no point even trying to beg it to go. 

Even though my mind was refusing to accept anxiety was back again, 

My soul lovingly reminded me that healing was a winding road, 

With turns, and obstacles, and detours; definitely not a linear path.

Wanting once again to retreat into a dark cave wasn't going to 

Bring peace and ease or healing and forward momentum; I'd learnt 

The more I got to know myself that I couldn't reduce myself to 

Anxiety's childish and selfish level, I had to allow it to be and express itself; 

Regardless of how negatively I perceived it to be, it actually was 

Reminding me of the things I had to yet heal. 

With much patience and willingness to want to feel like myself again, 

I decided to lean towards the things that made me feel safe, loved and heard; 

Though easier to shut down, I asked for help. 

My people were there. With a deep and loving embrace, 

They reminded me to breathe and supportively checked in; 

They reminded me I wasn't broken, I was just a human being. 

I knew I had to keep going, even on those harder and dark days, 

The light would always find its way through the cracks even when it 

Tooks weeks or even months; I'd continue healing, I'd spiral out of control

But then would reconnect to my soul. Being a human being was

At points painful and hard but it was also gloriously beautiful 

And the love, worth fighting for to stay gratefully alive. 





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