Mindfully Blooming

Waltzing through life I wish I was.  Instead, I keep stumbling and falling down, Not graciously but clumsily I'm Bruising my legs and bumping my head. What am I doing?  I can't stand straight.  It's okay, yes, it's okay, I'm learning and evolving with every step. I'm finding my way, I'm learning how to take deep breaths, I'm rediscovering myself, I'm creating change.

 On the edge of the ridge I stood for a while. Alluringly being called down, The abyss was tempting me to jump.  Painful to exist, I couldn't breathe alive; I kept stumbling with my exhausted,  Overwhelmed mind. Not many knew though,  It was easy to disguise, I'd just smile and say ' I'm fine'   But the pain was rapidly consuming me alive.  It would've been easier to take that step,  To let myself fall, t o no longer care.  But something held me back,  A force whispered a loud ' stop! ' I turned around, n o one behind; In patient time I realised  It was my soul speaking up. It lovingly told me to pause and Show myself some love, I hadn't been kind to my own heart,  I had allowed the pain to engulf my whole life.  The shadows slowly retrieving,  The dark clouds turning white,  Slowly I started to notice The mesmerising light all around and  The infinite love I had ignored in the past.    Eventually I lea...

  There was light and I was alive.  I had always been abundantly blessed Only I hadn't realised.  The darkness had been heavier But light was finding its way, There'd been an eternal battle But soul was making itself heard.  Darkness kept fighting,  It wouldn't easily give up But light was persistent, It'd always persevered and triumphed. 

Heavy and lost,  I trudged on; Not knowing how to breathe, I lost my soulful hope. I saw shadows and ghosts, s cared I was; Powerless and defeated,  I fantasised with the edge of the sword. Time went slowly by and I couldn't seem to smile, The heavy bags were getting heavier  And I almost collapsed. But o ne soulful dark night, something spoke loudly to me,  Maybe it was my soul, The one I'd  refused to see and had  ignored; It gently told me  I was unique, I had immense, sacred power And could eternally breathe. It wasn't easy,  I rejected it many a time,  But eventually I couldn't deny  I was feeling easefully light; I was awakening,  I was being eternally held. I was breathing again,  I was alive and well. 

Stories are medicine Words have helped me heal The pauses in the in between  Have shown me it's okay  To allow myself to breathe. Not to give up,  Not to reach for the knife  But to live and love, To evolve and to grow; Not to explode, Not to cease to exist But to gloriously, and  Humanly  Live, Breathe,  Be. 

The deep inhale that feels like a receding wave  Will slowly nourish your whole self. And, after a sacred pause,  You will slowly exhale for it to gently crash on the Flowing shore of your peaceful home. If you focus on the inhale and the exhale, Imagining the waves slowly receding And soothingly crashing ashore, Just imagine how you can transform your unique soul; The unapologetic wave just doing its natural thing And yet creating nothing short of magic.

  Every night you go to bed See me blowing you a kiss goodnight, I'll shower you with magical dust, I'll make the nightmares wave goodbye. You'll fall into dreamland, Colours will dazzle your eyes,  You'll play with past, present and future, The intertwinement of time Will blow your mind. You'll be showered with blessings of Past lives and d reams of the ones to come. You'll connect to universal prana, Your loving heart will explode; You'll envision fascinating scenarios,  You'll hug the ones that've been gone. Sometimes you will not want to wake up, You'll hold on tight to dreamland; You'll feel safe there and will want to stay Longer t han life allows.  But, if you curiously navigate your day And do everything right,  You'll once more find yourself at night Closing your eyes,  Wondering what you'll dream of In this ethereal, captivating land. 

  Summoning her bravery,  She tiptoed ahead Though soon enough  She started taking monumental steps. Embarked on her journey,  She courageously did,  She started healing and thriving, Connecting to her inner being. Shining brightly, She smiled her sparky eyes, She felt empowered To keep expanding  And enriching her life. Along the way Some curious ones realised She'd changed,  That's she'd become fully alive That she'd shed some heavy yesterdays.  Reassuringly she smiled. Though she was still carrying  Some demons on her back,  She'd learnt to tame them  And she was now gently rocking them Side to side, patiently  Wishing them goodnight While celebrating her inner light. 

The panic attacks shrunk me down,   Insignificant I felt And I almost drowned.  I gasped for air, many a time, I couldn't seem to rise afloat, Didn't think I deserved life. The weights pulled me  Down, down, down.  Didn't think I was worthy enough,  Didn't think I had any light inside. But In patient time I learnt I had always been enough. Though my ego pushed me down,  Love had always been lifting me up.  Worthy enough  I had always been,  I had this incandescent, innate light  Deep within.

  Let your soul be the one that guides you. Choose love no matter what.  Don't fall prey to your manipulative ego, It's always looking for ways to weaken your heart.  You're stronger than you let yourself  Fully acknowledge dear one, Sometimes you fear what people may say But you are here to gloriously shine your light And have lots of fun along the way. You will learn a myriad lessons: You'll cry, break and beautifully rise again But worry not what people could say, This is your life, shine away! 

Life is heavy. Life is dark. Life is a tsunami Drowning my mind. The words spirilling, Thoughts all around, Suffocating under the pressure  The debris  Colliding with my heart. Sometimes I feel like giving up But then I remember  the beauty of life: The waggy tails The birds and their songs The perfume of freesias The smell of a fresh bread loaf The comforting hugs The laughter and smiles The lessons I'm learning The thirst for love The music I dance to My family, my love The exquisite uniqueness Of my human life. I am here, I am alive So, no, I won't give up. I'll continue embracing  the messiness of life, The blessings in disguise And the glorious moments that  Make me feel deliriously lucky  To be fully alive. 

  And I think you are that thing that I want to find.  Saw you from afar and my soul smiled, Held my gaze, couldn't look down, There was something familiar  In how you followed my eyes. Simply for a moment But feels like we both knew, We're meant to find each other Under a distant new moon.  Inexplicably comforting,  Not denying the warm gaze. How to forget someone when you feel you looked Deep inside their kind face?

  My mind is confetti                               my heart cracking up My soul weeping loudly                         What's  going on?  Excitedly high but             The next minute crashing down down down. Terrified and frozen                                        Fear taking charge Trudging through these hours                       Darkness shutting me down Throat chakra oppressed                          Why I cannot speak alive? Feel I'm lost for words.                                Panicking, Crying,...