Mindfully Blooming

Let it all come,  The tears, the sadness and the in between joyful laugh; The rain, the storms and the rainbows above; The falling leaves, the mossy bark, the green sprouts; The blooming daffodils in spring time; The stumbles, the falls and the getting up;  The hugs and the waves goodbye  That break my weeping heart in half; The smiles at the airport's gate  That make my soul not want to wait,  The infinite embrace of lovers' fate.  Let it all come,  The disappointment, the shock,  The blessings of the dark;  The lessons, the reflection,  The salted jewels that keep rolling down; Let the growth come, l et my soul feel alive With the light brush strokes of your Kaleidoscopic smile.

If the pain hadn't been that searingly deep, If you hadn't broken my heart I'd still be breathing,  Breathing fully alive. The darkness that exploded in the void of my heart Filled my whole self with ashes and dying dust; The fire had burnt every hope down. Tears rushed down my cheeks Covering the vastness of my splintered heart.  Nothing would stop the flood,  The uttered words had broken the dam; Shaking for hours, lost in my numb mind, Trying to comprehend that I'd never be one to walk in white.  The  I love you  that followed was not comforting enough, My shattered soul cried for what the future of us would've been like; In another life, you would've hugged me and knowingly smiled.  For a long time now, questions have inhabited my mind:  Will you ever leave your fears behind? Will you ever drop them in the past?  Or am I burying myself deeper and deeper in an illusion  That'll be the death of all I dream of for us?   S...

  The tears I cry are not wasted time,  They help me release;  More easily, I can breathe.  Heavy heart, pounding chest But I know I'm not alone,  I've got my healing breath.  Inhale, pause, exhale; Ground yourself in the knowing  That you're alive in the now Through your anchoring breath And your beating heart. 

  With the certainty that I love you, Let me go gently in the night; I'll tearily look back  But you'll be dreaming of a thousand stars. My heart will tear in a million rags But I'll leave knowing that I did  More than enough. The laughter we shared, the inside jokes,  The passionate kisses under the moonlit floor Will be treasured by us forever more.  You'll always be the hello than changed My life that ochre November in daylight; The walk by the river under the falling leaves, I'll treasure as the day we locked each other in.  I'll go understanding we were stars that collided  In the dazzling ether of the universe's time; Guided by a purpose to learn and together grow sublime. We'll part ways knowing our souls evolved In the most majestic dance that our hearts  Would ever know. 

  At the top of the hill she firmly stood, Gazing over the valley, She deeply understood That her dreams had been guided  By a force bigger than her; She smiled knowingly at the meaningful steps.  She knew well not to ignore her inner voice, She'd done it before and would no longer do so;  She would never again silence her intuition.  With the knowledge she was one of the fallen stars,  She'd look high up for the guidance of the lights.  She'd keep connecting, reaching deep down, She'd made a commitment to her wise heart: She wouldn't let her dreams collapse,  She'd committedly work and elevate them high, Her inner knowing supporting her soul's plans,  She humbly smiled, she'd finally arrived. 

  My shadow side  Comes out to play When I least expect it, When the evening is jet black And there's only rain. Not recognising the dark thoughts, Sometimes I freeze in kaleidoscopic awe, Where is this all coming from?  Vast void of darkness inside,  Sometimes I feel I'm losing my mind But then I remember I'm human enough,  Enough to let shadows and light coexist In the canvas of my flesh and blood.  Why judge? Too harsh for an astronomical time,  Only loving and appreciating myself now;  Letting shame release the crown,  Holding kindness' hand lovingly tight.  

Nothing seems to be standing in the way  Yet it all feels so distantly far away. Frozen in place, Dreams in my head, Counting the shy stars That shoot across the dark sky.  I do not despair, I know it all ebbs and flows. However, how many more times Do I need to surrender to it all? If my soul is clear,  I can see ahead, I can believe and create  Wonderful things for myself. Sacred creation is available to me; Through trust and committed work, I can envision and manifest.  Rewarding it'll be  If I believe in my dreams; Worlds of wonder and awe  I'll  create that'll align with my soul. 

Just like that you mesmerised  My dazzled heart  And, though the struggles were real,  I would've never given you up.  You brought sunshine to My sometimes dark world,  You saw a darkness no soul had witnessed before,  But you didn't run away, you lovingly  Held my fragile frame  When tears would not cease,  And the breath couldn't be found; You didn't leave my side When I was breaking inside.  Maybe words weren't uttered but I knew you were there, You gave me the reassurance I needed  When my sky was nothing but dark gray.  You brought joy and laughter,  You helped me see that I'd always   had the magic and strength within me.

  In the middle of it all She found herself, she found her soul. Blinded by the whirlwind of the past She could not understand how she'd missed the light.  Determined to let go of the darkness  She grounded herself in her truth,  She'd venture outside the limits of the known She'd jump hurdles and she'd deeply explore.  She'd commit to her dharma,  Her journey unfolding with the first aligned step; She'd manifest the life she was meant to live,  The life she was meant to embody in her glorious self. It wouldn't be easy or effortless,  she'd have to committedly keep reconnecting to her 'why' But she knew it was all worth it; She was being guided by the stars. 

Tinkling in the sky,  She saw them shining bright, Shooting across the constellations That wrapped all humankind.  She knowingly beamed as she looked up, She felt the cloak of the night sky Comforting her and protecting her all around; Nothing could take that peace away, No one would take her light from her. With the weeping willows swaying And the crickets singing their sweet, familiar song, She'd keep trusting in the universe And her own, grounded voice. With the beginning of the end of her self doubt, She started to feel alive and Glowing bright she decided to embrace who she was.  Naysayers planted poisonous seeds in her mind But none of those sprouted, Only the pure ones she'd nurtured alive; She gave those flowers to the brave, wild and free, To the ones who were chasing and building their dreams.  Because the world needed the dreamers, The makers of the universe who were Returning to set the pure souls free. 

  Let the tears come, hold nothing inside,  Releasing, cleaning, cleansing,  The waterfall brings light in time.  Deep hole, pressing pain, At point overwhelmingly tight But do not despair, tears are precious  Droplets of a wise, lived heaven on Earth.  Show kindness to your heart,  It'll keep guiding you far;  Allow emotions to come, they'll all  Show you a different tint and shade Of your unique, rich life.  It's okay to fall down and tear up,  Don't let anyone tell you it's a weakness,  They know not how healing tears are.  You are the brave one, the one showing up To have a dialogue with sadness in the dark.  Sit in the discomfort, I promise it'll get easier to  Navigate the dark; you'll remind yourself to breathe And to take one moment at a time.  You'll look pain in the eye and you'll greet that familiar friend, You'll recognise bruises  That took place in the shadows of yesterdays.  But you ...

  My intuition is right, My gut feeling becoming loud. Impossible not to hear, not to know, not to feel, When the inkling is there, there's only one direction  That is revealed. The flapping wings of a thousand butterflies Hit the boundaries of my aligned lower mind; They know right away I am being guided by the wisdom of my inner self.  Trust I must For that way I'll align with my north star. It is easy to ignore  but delightfully fulfilling to  explore  what my heart and ancient soul know to be true. 

  Witness to my growth, I stared in awe; At points mesmerised by  The seemingly tiny steps That brought expansion to my soul.  At points not trusting myself But deep down knowing I was strong enough to shine  And expand with my whole self.  Broken down, beaten up; My willingness to grow  Kept taking me far and beyond; Bracing the wild waves of the ocean of my mind, I stood firmly in the power of my eager heart. Discouraged at points but not giving up, Forever deep down I knew I was meant to gloriously shine.

  It is in the stillness of The night gone by, In the groundedness That the early birds bring, In the changing colours Of the early morning sky That I find myself with peace in my heart; In the church bells greeting us all, In the cawing of birds, In the shy sunshine coming Through the window, In the crackling fire of The match I'm holding And the candle I'm lighting, In the drinking of mate That brings me back to my roots. 

  I belong to myself First and foremost, Grounded in who I am, Never g iving up On the expansion of my soul.  I've gone through dark tunnels And the abyss of the unknown But I've always had my  Anchoring breath guiding me Through it all. 

At the end of the tunnel You'll find the light Alluringly calling you in, You'll recognise the why. Do not fear it dear one, It's leading you to your dharma, Your joyful, aligned life.   No time to waste, o nly love to give,  Space to create,  smiles to receive.  This journey will take you places. Embrace the downs,  It all adds to the magic You're sharing in the wild. Hard sometimes To face the shame but If you don't venture into the unknown And curiously explore, you'll lose the thirst to grow and be bold. 

  Disgustedly I stared myself in the mirror, I picked apart the assumed flaws of my unique self; Rejection was standing there, Why couldn't I love myself?  Indoctrinated I'd been,  Forced to believe  There was something to hate  In my beautiful, unique being.  Lost in thought, Still stared at the inexistent flaws, The ones I'd been made to believe  That were the reason for my hopeless soul. Ownership I took, My thoughts became clearer, There was nothing wrong,  It was an illusion created by the media. With new eyes, I observed myself. How could've I hated my human flesh?  Strong and resilient my body had always been Yet for longer than I wanted to acknowledge I'd stepped on it, torn it to shreds, tossed it in the bin.  No longer though I'd look at myself the same way. I'd now celebrate my strength,  The signs of laughter  and every part of my glorious, human self.  I would listen no more to those who Did not believe in me,...

 Once I wished  I could've gone back to square one, Maybe I would've done things differently, I would've spoken my mind from the start. I wouldn't have broken to pieces But  would I have learnt to cry? There'd be no point in disregarding a lesson in time. We bend, we break, we shatter in the night sky But it is so valuable to learn how to shine after the dark.  We crumble, we spiral down into the abyss of night But we also learn to laugh while we cry. We learn that tears lead to a moment of light, The recognition that we are beautifully alive.

  Wither away, Fall to the ground,  Allow the layers to be shed and burnt down. Do not hold on tight It is healthy sometimes to release and allow; Trees show you how easy it is to just let go of the past. Easier said than done,  Sometimes we grab on tight Forgetting we're hurting ourselves, Little tiny cuts throughout.  Nature does not despair though,  It keeps revealing time after time, Obvious to the eye If we pause for a breath in time. 

  Breakdown to breakthrough,  She learnt to breathe again, She shed layer upon layer of heavy yesterdays. Nothing was perfect, s ometimes they'd show up, In the corners o f her frightened mind, She'd see them committing crimes. But she'd sacredly pause, she'd breathe alive, Eventually, she'd bravely set them alight. Like a bonfire i n a cold, November night, The shadows would always burn to the ground.  Relentlessly stubborn, they wouldn't give up  But she was always stronger Than t he overwhelming avalanche.  Within her soul she knew, She'd carried the strength of those Who'd come before and  had left in dark June. She wouldn't be defeated by the ominous dark, She'd bravely fight and take its mask down; She'd challenge the shadows to be exiled far And forever be banished under the searing sun.  Her light was magnetic, her commitment strong, Deep inside she'd always known She'd one day create the life she was born for.  She'd alwa...

  I want to feel the rain on my bones, I want to feel the pain of my soul, It reminds me I am human enough, Don't want to run away and leave wisdom untouched. The darkest days always teach me how  To overcome the haunting shadows all around. Breaking down, standing up, Strong enough to  Breathe, move forward and thrive. I'm learning blue, I'm growing tall, Don't want to bury and teary ignore The lessons for my eager, expansive soul, The possibilities in this joyful life stroll. Heart-breaking oftentimes, no denying that, No point to pretend that it's all pink and bright, But the darkest, deep blues teach me how to feel alive. I grow wings that take me far,  Across rivers, oceans and mountains afar. I fly, deep dive and soar high, I course-correct, trip over and fall But I always choose to grow and to thrive,  I choose to feel bruised but profoundly alive.

  No one would believe  She'd often cry herself to sleep; They couldn't see past her mask,  She had to pretend  So she smiled and smiled. Her heart kept knocking Within the confines of her chest,  Her soul kept screaming,  Her strength slowly faded away. Pushing things down, She kept f acing each day Until one Tuesday night  She burst into flames.  The burden had been too heavy  To withhold within her tiny chest;  Ashes spread everywhere Her world became hollow and grey. No one could understand, What had happened to her smile; Not knowing what to say They stayed away from her darkened self. She eventually started to smile To the sky, moon and stars above her crown She'd learnt to heal, she listened, she'd sometimes venture out; The confines of her mind had kept her captive for a long time But she was now ready to bravely own her light. She knew she could help others In her humble truth she stood; Neither fear nor the shadows Would keep h...

  Nothing else matters If I hold myself; Tears may be shed  But in the uncertainty of this gray today I have my own sacred self.  Worlds will collapse,  Leaves will be shed dead, The sky will cry red And yet there's nothing to fear In the safety of my own grounded self.  Through the depth of the darkness  In the void of my bed, I might shake, cry, tear and break Yet nothing can destroy my peace For I know I'll always come back  To my divine, unique self.  Haunted and terrorised by the  Rushing thoughts that flood my  Mind, I might freeze and despair but it's a matter of time  Till I bring myself back to my breath, Back to my eternal self.

  Standing in front of the towering trees The girl stared in awe and bliss; She was fascinated with the cracks, the moss, the bark, How could nature be so beautiful in the details at hand? The world dazzled her with the colours all around. Oftentimes she stood and she stared Lost in the magic of the falling leaves hitting the lair, In the contrast of the earthy colours And the ethereal shades of the early morning sky; The sun shone and reminded her how amazing  It was to be alive in that moment in time. Nudged to slow down, she cried tears of joy, She rejoiced in the knowledge she was never alone. Pumpkins, ochres, and dramatic leafy reds, It was the season to pause and shed the layers of yesterday. The robin perched itself on the neighbour's gate, They stared at each other, the girl knew it was fate; The reminder of the full circle of the dream she had dreamt  In the night of many yesterdays, Blissfully aware of the present day. 

  Instinctively I knew,  Viscerally I felt the due fued.   The shadows would make a return, They would always do. They would want the attention, They'd viciously tear me down  But I was determined not to  Let them run manic and wild.  'Wishful thinking' they'd say But I wouldn't let them  Get away with the threat. Stronger I became, They hissed to my face But in my truth I stood, The fire burnt in the flame.  Neither shadow nor demon Could overthrow my peaceful reign  For I knew that I'd bring myself  Back to the calm and ease  Of the grounding breath In the centre of my Earth.  

  Where you are is exactly right, Standing there guided by the stars. At points in despair, you'll look around, You'll think you're lost, you'll cry at what is around. But you're exactly in your place my love,  Just keep committing to what makes you feel alive; Life will continue unfolding And your actions will shine bright,  They'll be a lighthouse  To your desires and the unfolding  Of your aligned dharma and your sacred path. 

  You are my home,  You are everything sunshine In a grey world;  You are my life as I like knowing it and It feels like the world was a boring shade Before we said hello .  You are my favourite person and The life we've shared till this moment of gold Is everything I've known to want, to long for, To hold close to my hopeful soul.