Mindfully Blooming

Celebrating nature's seasons and my soul seasons, I realised and gave myself permission to fully embrace life. I realised, seemingly all of a sudden, that life was so intricate and that Each natural season could teach me endlessly about myself too.  This I knew but I'd forgotten.  Just like my cycle aligned with the moon phases, So too could I integrate the truth that, if nature had cycles and patterns and ebbs and flows, I could show myself grace and deep kindness every time I  navigated something new or the same thing I had experienced multiple times  before because I had to learn something new. Expansion and contraction became a new mantra, A new anchoring phrase, a new  way of living that brought forgiveness and ease.  Why had I punished myself so viciously for relapsing into anxious states When in reality I knew well that healing wasn't a linear, smooth, pristine path? I knew healing could be ugly, and messy...

October was waving goodbye when anxiety stubbornly decided to pop by. Out of nowhere, it pranced and sat on my chest,  Unapologetically digging its claws and refusing to walk away.  I could not catch my breath, a nightmare while awake.  Negotiation was null and void- no point even trying to beg it to go.  Even though my mind was refusing to accept anxiety was back again,  My soul lovingly reminded me that healing was a winding road,  With turns, and obstacles, and detours; definitely not a linear path. Wanting once again to retreat into a dark cave wasn't going to  Bring peace and ease or healing and forward momentum; I'd learnt  The more I got to know myself that I couldn't reduce myself to  Anxiety's childish and selfish level, I had to allow it to be and express itself;  Regardless of how negatively I perceived it to be, it actually was  Reminding me of the things I had to yet heal.  With much patience and willingness to wan...

I thought I had to go, n o point in staying,  My heart was begging f or me to listen to t he whispers a nd intuitive nudges. The storm had been unfolding, l ightning threatening the horizon,  Thunder kept growing louder and louder;  I thought I was just  s kin and bones, flesh and blood. But eventually I realised I was also magic and light alive   And I couldn't help being reminded, every time I breathed,  That I was worth each breath on Earth, That my soul had a purpose here,  That I was yet to fully embody it all.  That's how I embarked On the peeling of layers of my sacred healing journey.  And how my awareness sweetly developed; Staying stuck in the rejection of my sacredness and  Goddess beingness wasn't an option anymore.  Rejection of self, rejection of my humanity, rejection of  My sacred womb and ancestral trauma had made me disconnect Deeply from one simple truth: I was nature, loved and eternal.  My healing had ...

I lost myself and then I found me again.  Breath following me around  Reminding me to fully let it in; I'd forgotten how to be, forgotten I was human.  It felt easier to dissociate  And numb it all out; I belonged to a different galaxy:  Starseed living a human life  And I struggled to blend in Only because I was meant to stand out. Light inside, darkness too, Humanity was heavy and I cocooned; Couldn't wait to return to what it felt like home, Thousands of light years away And ethereally calling me back. 

Worlds were collapsing and so was I, in my mind I had nowhere to run  So I decided to face the debris and smothering, dark clouds.  Smoke, coughing, not knowing what was going on; Fear joined briefly for a while and I knew I had to let it be,  No point in pretending I was brave then But my faith had taught me I was immensely stronger than I would give myself credit for; darkness had engulfed me before  And I'd made it alive so I'd keep embracing the parts of me that  Were pure, eternal, strong and bold.  Smoke eventually dissipated, shy flames died down; I realised that I was standing on solid, breathing grounds. Foundations were charred but the earth was alive, Teaching me that fire would always bring nourished new life. I stopped fearing, I befriended pain, I knew  I couldn't keep running away from The lessons   I was meant to embrace. I sat with the heaviness  Of my chest, I let it be. Eventually, it dawned on me that The beauty of my...

In the sacredness and nourishment of our womb,  We burn bright and thrive aligned;  We shine from deep within, we connect to the source of it all.  Cherishing our womb, we celebrate the sweetness of this portal,  The waters that are and give life, the blood that is our power,  The sanctuary of our sacred soul.  We cherish and honour our goddess energy, we tune in to the elixir of life; In our sacred chalice we receive divine guidance , We create and co-create with higher power, We savour and delight in the sweetness and pleasures;  We cry, we moan, we succumb to the pulsations of life In the contraction and expansion that is this sacred universe.  We honour the ebb and flow of the sacred waters,  We retreat and then we shine, We are reminded that light follows darkness and that  Healing, however  imperceptible , is happening on a Moment t o sacred, rageful, blissful moment basis.    

The Earth shook and things fell, Crumbling down to the foundations of what they used to be.  I knew then nothing had been in vain for the process of  Lovingly building what was had showed me the power Of mindful and soul-led creation.  What was beautiful back then had started cracking naturally,  Not because of faults but because something more beautiful  Was emerging.  I'd learnt to let the cracks reveal themselves so that I could  Witness the layers underneath.  Not always comfortable but I knew that patching things up Defeated the purpose of the unbound and emerging truth of Nature and creation.  I'd learnt that there was deep beauty in the imperfections And the natural flow of sacred unfolding.  I was profoundly grateful for the crumblings,  The shaking, the darkness, the valleys, the cracks That were revealing to me I was a wild, sacred one. 

  Let me walk hand in hand with you my child, Let me feed and caress your soul, I'm mother earth,  The cradle and essence of everything that is  Pure, aligned, and unfolding with love.  Surrender to me, and let me carry you to peace, bowing down to your true essence, to the earth beneath.  Wash in my rivers, feed from my fruit, celebrate your Divinity and my mystic magic, sun and moon.  Intertwined in the ether we live, you and me.  You are me and I am you and with the blessing of the universe we flow with and in eternal love.  When you feel disconnected, remember to walk barefoot,  Feel the rain, look at the sky and breathe the air; dance around  the fire, let heaviness go, celebrate you human aliveness even when Darkness k nocks on your door. It's all unfolding for your highest expansion.  Trust in the journey, savour what each day brings, keep coming back  to your breath, anchoring force to be. 

Walk towards the light even when the dark is all around you.  Trust that all experiences are helping you expand. (They are even when we can't see it.) Be reassured in each brave step you take,  For you're never on your own, eternally supported by light. At times daunting, oftentimes overwhelmed, Perhaps you often felt you no longer wanted to be here  On this human plane; p erhaps the heaviness you feel Is a sign you're more s oul than human but still chose to be here To experience t he full spectrum of humanity and the intensity of  your human flesh and blood, and the aches and pains. But it all meant you also got to enjoy and delight yourself In the beauty, the magic, the connection, the joy, the  Savourable and exquisite existence of your human vessel. Trust you're one of the lucky ones who got to Incarnate and live on the haven that is  Planet Earth.  Your human life is sacred and exquisite,  Embrace each nourishing experience,  The light ...

Seemingly stranded on planet Earth  I found myself one day,   Unaware I was to learn yet more lessons That'd unravel my highest expansion yet. Reluctant at points, I unwillingly walked  Forward through each human phase.  Unaware I was falling more and more in love With the resilient race and the love they exuded, I found beauty in the mundane. I learnt to intertwine the ethereal Throughout e ach sacred day, learning that was The one sweet way to cultivate love over  Losing myself in the dark skies ahead.  Heaviness lingered heavily in my chest  Upon experiencing the challenges of the  Souls that incarnated on this human plane But trust in the only universal force Encouraged me not to return to source Before I could walk further down the human road.  Beauty, beauty, beauty on planet Earth Kept me anchored and grateful for  Nature, for kindness and for grace;  The raw and the real of the deep pain  Would eventually heal stro...

  The fire within burning bright, growing flames, light all around. You're a child of God, you're the universe in and out; You're divine, you're magic, you're love, you're everything That is good and beautiful in the world.  And you're also healing, a beautiful intertwinement of different but equally Profound and transforming pieces.  You're all the colours, all the textures, all the sounds that you want to be, No need to explain.  By being your full, unique self you live in true alignment with your soul, Your purpose your true nature and essence.  You're loved beyond measure and have a cheering squad. Why are you so afraid?  No need to run, walk.  No need to shout, speak softly.  Your creations will have ripple effects and You'll share your light with the world. 

We die to the old,  We burn it all down, Letting the ashes fertilise the new ground So that we can be reborn alive. Child, let it go,  Let the tears roll down, The aching pain be alchemised;  Release the heaviness of times gone by Even though it's natural to still hold to it while breathing alive. Open up to new seasons of abundant life  Where fear steps aside for love to take the crown.   Witness the power of aligning with higher love So as to delight yourself in the eternal light  Of all that was, is and will ever be, pure love. 

  The birds flapped in the gray sky And the autumn sun peeked through to say hi.  Mesmerised by their freedom and playfulness as they soared high, I leaned in to the  ' What if I was like that ?'  What if I leaned in to more ease and flow,  Less holding on?  Less thinking and more embodying my body and soul?  What if I playfully took off to taste the air Without concern of the where? What if I allowed myself to glide and let the currents carry me Low and high, low and high rather than frantically flap?  What if I looked at the big landscape rather than  Focusing on one particular tree?  What if I acknowledged all the trees, all the paths, All the different seasons and types of skies?   What if I just was , in the beauty of that moment?

 I welcome myself,  I welcome myself to my human home,  To my soul haven;  I welcome myself back to all the  Fragments that are me and that I lovingly commit to cherish and honour As worthy parts of me.  I welcome myself back into  The arms of all who came before me;  I welcome my womb back into  The centre of my heart and my sacral chakra,  I welcome my light and my darkness; I welcome the willingness and desire To heal, to alchemise the loud roar and Dance freely in the wild. 

As dark as the night's grasp  Her thoughts turned black; She'd been here before and  The familiar scent seemed to comfort her mind. Spiralling out of tight control,  The dark thoughts engulfed her light;  She desperately gasped for air But the shadows held her down. Oblivious to the light all around her,  She felt like giving up. She didn't care how far she'd come, It felt easier to retreat into the dark; Nothing seemed to matter,  It all felt heavy and tight.  Something kept calling her to stay though, Maybe the sweet scent of hope  and the magic gifter to her each day. The disheartening scenario  If she decided to leave  Made her want to fight harder  To avoid hurting the people she loved, Deep down she knew she  Couldn't leave, not just yet. Reminded to stop overthinking,  She kept walking towards her true north, Not knowing exactly where her leap would take her But trusting she could create meaningful ripple effects Fo...

  My troubled mind kept banging on  About the things that were missing  The things that were wrong  I couldn't shake the knowing  I was meant for more but  Impatience kept a hold of me and  I kept losing control; my demons Were running wild and I  Fantasised about letting it all go It'd be easier if I was here no more Maybe I belonged somewhere else And that's why life kept feeling heavy  And I kept experiencing an aching pain To vanish, to go, to disappear and be  Physically no more.  But love kept me alive,  And the desire to connect and  To be of service to souls aligned;  Light kept shining my path as  The universe kept reassuring me I had  Lives to change, and lessons to share. 

Dear shadows,  I see you. You're not my enemy; you've been an ally all along, only I hadn't realised and kept blaming you for many things. I hurt and you were a refuge to my dark humanity. Thank you. You taught me to embrace all shades of me and be with what I kept running away from. You taught me to be with the darkness and the discomfort. I had never thought I'd actually thank you but you've made me more whole, more intricate, deeper, more layered and I learnt those layers made me wholesome and sacred. I embraced the dark and cherished the light- I unapologetically danced with both and became me.  It took me some time to understand and accept that my darkness wasn't something to hide, to feel shame about, to hide or to run away from. I learnt that I was whole, darkness and all. I learnt that sometimes I'd navigate these waves of anxiety and overwhelmed and overall 'wanting to disappear' and yet I was still worthy of giving myself time to rest and p...

  Just wait, just be. Nothing will come to you  If you force and don't breathe.  I know it's hard, impatience reigns But your frustration will only make it worse, You won't see the beauty that is .  Growing gold can take time But you truly are meant to shine bright. So wait human one, just wait and be. 

After a thousand lifetimes She walked her human life again, She'd always felt a certain heaviness But didn't recognise the pain. Lifetime after lifetime Her soul had learnt That love was the only  True, pure answer to  Humanity's heartbreaking pain. She thought she was different,  She'd naively thought she could  push pass the deep darkness and Deceive the demons that were like unwanted stains. But in time she realised she couldn't evade the lessons, Only walk through the confusing, scary and overwhelming maze. Why? Why? Why?  She kept asking for many lifetimes Until one deliriously hot day  in the Argentine fire and blaze, She realised life was much sweeter  When her heart opened and she Received l oving grace.  She promised herself she'd commit To walking with more ease and  She'd work hard at just being herself. No more pushing and controlling, Just allowing the universe to do its thing.  She'd do her work and then she'd let go,...

I felt like melted wax, Shapeless and on the ground.  Not standing tall or proudly bright,  Rather ashamed of the collapse of my mind; Wanting to push people away and shut down.  Everyone had an opinion, easier to speak than to feel. Meant to shine but felt like in the dark; Things were taking longer and I didn't feel strong enough Victim mentality showing up and I wanted to rip it apart But it was a bit comforting and my ego mind was shushing me goodnight .  In patient time, awareness built strength and I started noticing that my intuition  was speaking loudly but I was refusing to listen.  I had to let go of the assumed and expected reality and fully open  To what actually was.  The more I flowed with life, the more I noticed I was allowing life to be. I released control, a bit more each day;  Far from easy but it was the only option to stay centered and aligned. How naive of me to think I could control the pace of the new dreams! Only pati...

Softness and lightness had left her,  The world had turned uncertain and grief followed her around. The heaviness on her chest felt like rocks  Pressing her down and she oftentimes Could not breathe alive.  Despair was real but only if she let ego win; She couldn't shake this feeling of failure even though She knew she was brave enough to fly to a different land.  She was just tired of the uncertainty of her life  But she realised maybe that was what she'd come here to learn: To flow more with life, to stop trying to control everything And to fully breathe in and exhale it all out. 

The burning tears started falling like shooting stars When the pounding in my chest became louder and wild; I knew I'd be okay but the release was necessary-  In my mind at the time it was life or death. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't peacefully be. Choosing a new path,  I knew I'd have to be patient, Perhaps I naively believed though that it'd take  Less than a month.  All around I kept seeing glimpses of love And I kept holding onto the dreams I envisioned  For this particular human life. But manifesting dreams sometimes took time, All I had to do was was keep aligning with it,  Working hard  And surrendering to the precious unfolding of my Unique human life. 

  Darkness fell and I, once again, drowned,  Sinking deeper and deeper,  No light in sight.  Once again down here, breath leaving me behind; It got tiring, waiting for the answers To find me. I knew I'd be born to shine and yet  I carried nothing but darkness and past lives. Tired soul, tired heart,  Fantasising about giving up and leaving  The weight behind in the past.  But time and time again Something pure reminded me It was all worth it and there Was an abundance of love.  Love and magic were worth living for,  Lessons worth walking my human life for. 

Letting go of what I thought it would be,  I started healing my disappointed heart  One healthy and loaded exhale at a time.  The seasons changed and I devotedly  Continued to inhale and exhale what I  Thought life would be;  No longer as frustrated, no longer expecting  Things to go the way my hopeful brain thought they'd be.  I realised life was really determined to teach me patience And choose my thoughts healthily. Resistance I felt and many a time I exploded in a rage  But I'd always return to my centre and process the venom Cursing through my veins with the patience   A mountain has to move closer to heaven. I kept trying to reframe my thoughts and the toxic words By written down, I had to empty my mind and have space to process and breathe fully, humanly, imperfectly alive. 

 She fell lost and wounded, Dreams had transmuted into a disappointing reality.   She felt like a failure and wanted to vanish into nothingness; Surely joining the ether would be lighter than  Doing things that led her nowhere She'd slowly leave, she'd slowly disappear  until one day there'd be nothing left.  Tempting, alluring.  She thought she'd given it all  But one pink evening reminded her that  Beautiful, expansive and aligned dreams sometimes  Took time. 

 I felt empty and numb,  My mind overloaded with darkness, no light in sight.  Reality was heavy and felt like checking out,  My soul kept crying and was exhausted from  Giving, trying, and showing up.  Was it worth it?  Regrets flooded my mind once in a while And I felt tempted to sleep for a whole month.  I was tired, drained and a hopeless grain of sand.  In the vastness of life,  I oftentimes felt I was not made for this world  And my soul craved to go back. But there was a reason I'd chosen to experience This unique human life and, although I did not quite know why,  I had to trust that my existence was special and needed for my soul to expand.  What did my soul crave?  What was I meant to learn?  I could only uncover these truths if I was brave enough To live my human life open to all the lessons and blessings around. 

                                       Existing became heavy and I wanted to give up. It felt like life required me to be patient  And keep persevering but my batteries were running out; I was tired of moving forward without knowing where I'd land. Life had become overwhelmingly uncertain and the leap I'd taken  Had propelled me nowhere near where I thought I'd land.  My eyelids, my heart, my soul were tired and had lost their spark, The light inside me was losing its brightness with each day passing by.  Drowning every day, determined to see the good but I could only glimpse from afar; So down, down, down the hole of my existing darkness that the palpitations  Reminded me each day my heart wanted to stop beating for a while... Wanting to fall asleep not to think or ponder on how disappointed I was,  Wanting to dream of being light and free, faithfully aligne...