Mindfully Blooming

When the last leaf dropped  I could finally let go,  It'd been a heavy journey  And I could now finally breathe. Assumptions, expectations, past identities,  They all left me the instant I  realised I was more than all the once cosy Layers I'd put on. Out of  Fear of being cold or just because  They looked warm, I held on to These unnecessary garments even when Summer was in full swing and hot. But on a random November afternoon,  With icy wind and under the g lare of the clouds, I felt it  was time to put it all down.  The yellow leaf dropped,  The towering tree bare now stood  But it only meant one thing: A new beginning in the fresh Autumn air. 

I had seen the sky before it was  And I knew it would all burn down to the ground;  The sky would turn pink but it'd melt red that night.  I'd hear screaming but I wouldn't be able to see; The smoke would paralyse me, then make me flee. I knew that I'd save many but not that night,  I had to save myself and ignore the voices in my mind. In time I realised the whispers were coming from up there though, No one else around; The bonfire I'd created would consume and burn down  Without my tired soul this time.  The shadows I'd created would no longer Follow me stubbornly around, I'd drop them dead as the flames danced around; They'd be buried with my past life  And a new phoenix would rise up to freely fly. 

Tight chest, knot in my throat,  Tiptoeing around our future I drove as you speechlessly froze.   The breathtaking autumn colours consoled me, I knew the trees were shedding their heaviness And, as I spoke, so was I.  The tears, I released as I quietly sobbed In the bath under the lunar eclipse, Covering my mouth so you  Wouldn't hear my pain; I felt the sharp shards penetrate my chest Under the night sky's gaze.  A whole new day and yet no single word.  A whole herd of elephants stood in the middle  Of the cold kitchen as we made lunch.  The unspoken words were like daggers Constantly twisting in my insides,  I couldn't really look you in the eye And kept having to bite my tongue.  I ancestrally ached, wondered if I was  Carrying part of my ancestors' unshed tears And maybe even your pain as well.  But Hope never left my side because I saw your love, your gentleness,  Your kindness; I saw your love was Bigger than words c...

  To live is to openly embrace all the experiences With a curious eye, mind and heart; To breathe the sweet air of the rose, jasmine and honeysuckle In the abundant green; To welcome sweet blessings and bitter but crucial lessons;  To know when it is time to welcome love and also to let go.  To wake up in the morning with an open heart, To savour the seasons of our lives; To hug your partner a thousand and more infinite times; To hold, to release, to embrace, to let go.    To be, to inhale, to pause, to exhale.  And to keep doing that until  Your soul fully, orgasmically expands. 

 I closed my eyes and I could eventually see, It'd all been a dream running away from me. I knew I'd rise again, I knew I could face the pain But it broke my heart and I just couldn't breathe.  It took some time to open my eyes, The light was blinding and I'd forgotten how to blink Or see colours alive but, in patient time, I allowed myself to let colours flood me, I allowed myself To breathe the sweet air in and just be. It all made sense in time: I was here to grow and expand however  Excruciatingly painful the ride.  I also knew that life was a blessing  And I only needed to keep an open, grateful heart. 

  Nature showed me how easy it was to be  When all was heavy in and around me;  It elegantly shone light on the droplets on  The green and purple leaves and  It subtly hinted that rain was a blessing As was the soil, flowers and bees.  Nature never shouted on my face yet  It had the longest and most powerful impact Which I'd never be without or not need. Nature so effortlessly reminded with each  New, golden sunrise that it didn't matter  Whether the sun was showing itself in full  Blinding glory or whether it was hiding behind  The upstaging clouds, that the sun was there  Always ready to warm us up and make us feel alive.  Nature also reminded me with the gentleness of  A mother breastfeeding her baby that the moon,  The ubiquitous and ethereal satellite, always dazzled  Everyone who knew to look up at the mesmerising night sky And  unapologetically  showed all her sides and marks; She never shie...

I've come far, farthest than my ancestors,  I've taken leaps and bounced back up; I've learnt and I've thrived, I've succeeded and celebrated  The faith in the journey and the strength to keep going  While cheering my own heart and rejoicing in blissful light. And  I've lost myself, I've crashed hard,  I've spiralled out and seen only dark and black I've numbed out, I've frozen hard,  I've fantasised with sharp blades I've felt anxious and panicked and  Afraid beyond what I thought could be possible In my human life.  Why? Why do I soar so high but then crash so hard, filling myself with bruises beyond what the eye can perceive?  Why do I feel so empowered and proud of myself to then  Feel powerless, lost and anxious? Because   We are beautifully complex human beings who are on a journey,  A uniquely intrinsic journey that is forever unfolding and Which we are always exploring, discovering   And learning from; A journ...

The star fell from high up,  It hit the ground, not knowing why or how. Light had been all around her and yet She fell the pull dragging her down;  Bruises and pain filled her aching heart. She'd been happy, she'd known who she was  But these days darkness lingered around. She'd been here before, she knew she'd see the  Bright light again and beam around other stars  But the heaviness these days was a different  Cold, stone hard.  Every experience was sacred though And she'd learn the lesson in sweet, patient time.  All she could do was acknowledge each feeling, keep an open heart And t rust each emotion would pass.  Eventually, she'd shine her bright light  One more sweet time. 

Death lingered in the air,  My breath slowing, vanishing as it dissolved  In the smog of the evening's soaring fire. I knew it was my time. It had been for a long,  Slow-ticking time but  I still couldn't quite believe this was it.  Life came hand in hand with death  And yet I still struggled to comprehend d eath's presence.  Acceptance would come, it always eventually did.  In the meantime, I'd get curious.  Life had taught me infinite lessons  That I could now clearly, finally understand: Hate had no space on Earth, only love had always been The real m agical essence in all things.  No regrets though, the toxic emotions had all been a lesson And I could comprehend all the facets of my human existence  Because I had so wholeheartedly opened to the  Myriad shades of the beautifully complex rainbow We human beings had always witnessed. I had lived and now death showed me  How deeply I had done so; death  Always ha...

Drowning in the excuses within my unfulfilled life, I sabotaged myself with every ridiculous thought in my mind. Frustrated to my core, excuses kept flooding in, Frozen in motionless stupor, Tears streamed down my disappointed cheeks. But no one could save me,  Only myself to rise to the surface and breathe. Though I kept stumbling and falling down, I learnt I had to leave limiting beliefs behind, I couldn't move forward with the baggage on my back. I desperately felt I was meant to shine But comparison kept showing up, Stubborn cog in the machinery of my  Obsolete lack-mentality mind; But I never gave up embracing gratitude  And choosing to see the abundance Around and within the universe of my unique heart. I knew there was nothing but love and blessings Showering me day and night, Even when I blindfoldedly couldn't see  And chose to drown in both pathetic lies And unfulfilled promises. But I was willing enough And eagerly decided to face the truth of my human life...

 I g rew up to find out I knew nothing, The light deliriously engulfed my mind; I remained frozen in time for longer than possible Until the shadows themselves nudged me To move forward and leave the pain behind.  From that awakening moment forward  I assumed nothing and kept an open mind, I trusted the universe was guiding me  And open-heartedly received the signs. I discarded nothing and trusted the lessons Were flooding my eager-to-learn mind. The sky turned all colours that showed me  The glorious magic that had always been all around.  I learnt to trust the higher power in the ether abound and  Within my human suit of flesh and blood. Seasons showed me the beauty of a fresh start,  The death of the known and familiar to  Venture into lands of exciting exploration of  The unknown and inspiring wild. I learnt to shed layers and t o trust my gut and my heart,  To show myself kindness when  I made a faux pas,  To cry whe...

  In this beautiful life of us,  We can't have expansion without contraction, Life doesn't work like that. We wouldn't be here without the ebb and flow of life; Not everything has to be an uphill climb but  We wouldn't savour some victories  If we hadn't worked hard  And cried abundant rivers on a scarily dark night.  Easy to get frustrated  When life doesn't go our way, As if we had a say in the magic of the divine unfolding.  Yes, there is free will but Life is always beautifully, magically unfolding For our growth and expansion Through blissful blessings and also through hurdles That make things worthwhile.  Breathe, you are always guided And on a unique path of growth through  Empowering darkness and blissful light. 

 A warrior she awoke From a dream dark as night's smoke; Terrified for a moment But with determination and courage in her heart,  She saw the fires burning and Decided to run to save her sisters' lives. Fear was still there but love was more  Powerful than the flames ahead. No faith in herself at first But over time she'd found  The light in her chest, And the magic that came from  Aligning with her higher self, Led her to fiercely protect what  She knew was sacred and divine in her soul.  Many a goddess she met along the serendipitous way, Souls sisters that destiny had led her to love And learn with and from. Each, gorgeously unique; each, with  A mission on planet Earth,  Each with unique gifts and talents No one else could offer only  Open-heartedly receive. In the blink of a moment The smoke brought her back  To the land she'd walked in. She saw destruction amidst the  Ravenous flames but it Did not discourage her, she kne...

She saw darkness on the horizon, The doors were closing in; She realised the shadows were setting camp And she found it hard to breathe.  The thunder echoed in the valley, Lightning struck a thousand loud times  And she felt the presence of fear  Lingering and hovering around her Once fierce, determined heart.  She'd been here too many dark nights, She'd cried until her heavy, swollen eyelids  Couldn't help but shut down the light.  Terrified at first, she recoiled in a corner  of the cage she'd once again put herself in; Panicking there was no way out,  She thought her wings had been clipped. Only thought in time she'd learnt  That it was no one but herself The one who would retrieve into the darkness Of the dark valley's pit. She'd nourished her strength, The determination to succeed had  Paved the way for her leap of faith But from time to time, she'd default into her fearful self, Limiting her potential because of the  sabotagin...

  Lovingly allow all the sacred puzzle pieces of your beautiful self To find their way back to each other again to heal And for you to feel harmoniously safe.  Shine bright. Open your heart. Embrace yourself.  Enjoy the in-between, sweet moments of life, Those moments that make you reassuringly smile Because you know you are alive.  Savour those in-between, sacred pauses That remind you of your humaneness explored Through your senses and, at the same time, The magic of the universe all around. Breathe,  You are alive.  

                                                They saw me first, they heard me roar,  Deep from within my gut The loud vibration of my soul. The day had come, I was breathing  Fully alive; fiery passion to  Fulfil my dreams, excuses no more. Filled with determination and drive, Fear did not dare cross my path Because it knew that no matter How closely it firmly stood next to me, I would not let it cloud my dreams and mind. It took time, it took courage But a mighty leap I took And all of a sudden I was joyfully aligning my body, mind and soul. To live courageously I craved, No more resentful ' what ifs ' On a rainy, gloomy day behind my school desk.

  All the lights we cannot see, Dancing around our whole being; Protecting us from the darkness they keep at bay, Though sometimes shards penetrate on the brightest day.  But that's okay, that is life; We cannot run away from the darkness For it teaches us a valuable lesson in time: It is because of that darkness that we  Can savour light so profoundly. Moonlight and sunlight coexist  Peacefully, beautifully  And are needed by us all To learn our earthly lessons and  Live with love in our souls. 

We magically found each other but  In slow time a crack was born; At the beginning we didn't see it, We were madly, deeply in love  But wanting different things  Took a heartbreaking toll.  Tears streamed down my cheeks As you closed the door,  Though it was me shakily walking away Because we couldn't find the ease or flow.  Laughter stopped,  Routine became painfully raw; You stopped desiring me  And I felt rejection setting camp  At my heart's door.  No ' Love you too ', j ust a shy smile.  Rust started forming And my tears corroded it all.  My heart broke a nd it shattered my soul  But I wanted you to be happy,  I had to let you go.

For a walk I went and I purposely lost myself; Stared into the fluffy shapes  Hanging above my head, the  Ones that reminded me of Childhood ease and carefree air.  Both the blue and the pink  With each shade in between  Boldly nudged me to bow in awe,  The things we take for granted And get lost in the hectic blur of it all.  Easy to forget no breath is guaranteed And yet we waste them without a second thought, But during these evening walks I choose again and I flow with ease When I marvel at the sky and  I let my soul roam wild and free.  

A human navigating life, Okay to feel it all. Harsh and unkind to myself at times But bringing myself back to my truth. Easy to let thoughts and words cut me through, Vulnerable and sensitive  To my own sword. But eventually remind my heart  That I am loved, enough and whole. 

The universe winked at me, It made me feel whole and alive;  Supported and expansive in my joyful existence,  Grateful for the privilege of being sweetly alive;  I brought my hands to heart centre a nd sacredly bowed down.  When life presented me with challenges, pain and sorrow, Amidst the crumbling of my heart and soul,  I humbly bowed to the lesson life was teaching me And welcomed it like a blessing in disguise.  Many heart-breaking tears ago,  I used to believe life was happening to me  But in sweet, patient time,  The universe taught me Life was happening for my expansive embodiment  And the joy of being fully alive. 

 Moonlight, sunlight and everything in between A child of the universe, born wild and free. Sacredly born, eternal light, n othing could stop me For I was fiercely driven by The sight of shooting stars  Across my wild dreamland And the burning desire to  curioursly devour life.  I woke alive o n planet Earth  Where water ran fresh  and birds sang free;  Where I could be anyone, Thrive if I allowed myself  to dream big.    I dove in the blue ocean deep,  Saw unimaginable creatures Greeting my curious being. Acknowledging the endless possibilities  Of the ever-changing flow, I took every opportunity  To devour life and embrace the awe;   To not waste precious existence  Or regret my unique  life;  To live my life for the ones who lost theirs, To treasure each magical moment As unique miracle dust because it was.   I fell from mountains high I slipped and cracked my head open wide;  I let de...